Oh, Snap! Smurfs Are REAL!

Dear Fellow Beings;

Ya know, any time I start to think it can't get any stranger on this fair planet, the typical cracks in reality range wide to reveal its darker crags. For instance, there's Paul Karason:



I mean, really. Sure, there's a "scientific" explanation, but I am certain, just as sure as the rooster calls the dawn, that this man is a Smurf.

And, he's not the only one. A Libertarian and former candidate for a senate seat in Montana, Stan Jones, is also a Blue Dude. Which means they're trying to take over our government! This can't happen! Not Here! Not Now!

I propose that police powers be expanded to include the right to stop and deport all non-beige, brown or yellow peoples. Further, our sons must be counseled to avoid personal or conjugally-initiated manipulation and involvement on the occasion of the Blue Moon so that these aberrations will not have access to our precious genetic material to be used to propagate their <ech!> species! Only our diligence will prevent this scourge!

Yours truly,
Gargamel