I had a realization, or maybe a reinforcement of a realization hinted at in the maelstrom that is my mind, that there's absolutely no room in interpersonal relationships for ego and pride. Altruistic caring and the honest demonstration of same is an obligation.Now, I'm not saying that it's an obligation in the form of what a drag, I have to do this again, but an obligation in the form of a privilege. It should be an honor to have the opportunity to show that one cares about another.
For instance - she's pissed at you, or just pissed in general. Don't react! Take whatever time is needed to understand what's going on, no many how many paragraphs and run-on sentences she spews. She's trying to freaking tell you something! Guys - seriously: take whatever time is needed. Anything else can wait. If you find yourself getting bored or antsy because the game is starting or you're going to miss the package store closing before you can make your beer run, clear that crap out of your mind because YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. You may not agree - if so, she may be wrong BUT it's more likely that your pride is getting in the way. After all, she's feeling it and if she's feeling it, how, really, can it be wrong? Think about that for a second. Unless she's a total psychopath - in which case, you should really shut up lest you find yourself stumbling into the street with a carving knife stuck in your thick skull.
In case you were wondering, there's plenty of competition out there from guys who will take the time to listen, really listen, and try to understand. But, there's a certain bond she's got with you, so she's cutting you a break and giving you the opportunity to exercise your privilege to not only show you care, but to actually, really care.
Here's a tip: if you're not feeling it, besides being a punk-ass bitch, you should leave the relationship. Sure, her lasagna is great, but, dip-shit, here's the thing - you're supposed to make each other happy. If you can't manage to do that for her and she's not doing that for you, you are breaching your responsibility to make her happy. Follow? In other words, you don't care that much . . . in which case, you'll wind up hurting her again and again. Women are smart, bucko: they know when to cut their losses and they will drop your sorry ass like a hot rock.
Now, back to my loving space after that bout of tough love. I am guilty of being a fuck-wad, full of ego and pride. It's easy to get all comfy and forget that this is a unique and special person that I should be elevating in my attention panorama as a major priority. So, my advice to myself is STOP, LOOK and LISTEN. You don't know what you're missin' (thanks Busytown and Richard Scary.)
If my lady friend allows me to repave the road to her heart, I will check myself and seek to understand what the hell she's saying because she's saying it to me and not Tim, Vito, Tyrone
or Jose. That's the privilege she grants me, for now, until I fuck it up. You best believe it, homer.
