Thursday, May 28, 2009
I had high hopes for this week. I pledged to take one day away from my Bloomberg terminal to just lie on a beach. I really need to reorganize my perceptions. It occurred to me this morning that I could have flown somewhere else, but, in truth, I don't feel like it. I just want to hang around here. Sigh.
It would be nice to have someone keep me company. There's the gardener outside right now - maybe I'll ask him in. No, wait, that's gay. It's the middle of the day, so everybody else is working. I could go to the VFW and hang out with the old guys, but then I'd feel old. I can't shop anymore - I only want another pair of shoes, but I don't feel motivated to go get them. Hmph.
Maybe I'll go get a bicycle and take a ride. It's been a long time since I did that and I always like the feeling of the wind against my face with the world sliding past my periphery in a green and gray blur.
Or maybe I'll just sit here, watch a movie. play on my Playstation or get drunk.
No - too sad. I got it! A hooker! I've never had a hooker! No, that's disgusting plus there's no reason to spoil a perfect record. I've never been to a strip joint, er, excuse me, gentlemen's club, either.
It's all busywork. And that's because I'm doing it without you. Baby, come back to me . . .
There's no one so clever as you, so adept at making me laugh, especially when you laugh. Your eyes pierce to the center of my soul like the owl in the Tootsie Pop ad from god-knows-how-many-years ago. The way you command your domain triggers admiration. Your nurturing soul always set to surprise.
So, are you coming over? No? Oh, well. Can't have everything.
"Here's a fictional news story we'd all like to see:
"The top business story of the day is Citigroup's astounding comeback
from near-bankruptcy last year with single-share prices topping a record-
breaking $71.80 a share, even after the eightfold stock split in late
2009. Citigroup's Pandit said in an interview, "I had told Congress
that I 'got the new reality' and it's apparent that this clarity has
helped me guide the company to its current global finance dominance."
In fact, after Citigroup's surprise acquisition of the-then Bank of
America, now known as CitiAmerica, along with the Wells Fargo and JP
Morgan mergers, it was thought the bank was treading in dangerous
waters. Instead, through the revolutionary move to purchase China
early this year so that Citigroup could be its own country, Citigroup
has become widely respected as history's most stable banking firm and now,
country, ChinaGroup. "Needless to say," said Pandit, "our next move
will be total domination of all world markets and then, all I can say
is, we'll see. We're still interested in acquiring the Unified Korea and Japan,
of course. We don't expect much resistance as they will be
assimilated" Prices for the equity, stock symbol C, are up 26% in after-hours
and the subsequent post, likelier than not, in this forum:
"Hey - any of you guys think it's going to break $80 already? Geez."
That's all I got. Come see me if you're in the neighborhood. That is, if security lets you in.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Unfortunately, I have been given to the wide-eyed innocence of my age and upbringing by peasant parents who knew that the details I should possess were betond my schoolyard training. I don't blame them. Finally, though, I think I have an inkling.
My long-standing interaction with a particular person who shall remain unnamed is the proof of my first experiment with not believing all that I read, so to speak. Instead, I had finally, painfully accepted that I had lost the battle but might still be able to gain some experience with returning the same manipulation the like of which I had been subjected.
I still believe it's wrong and it hurts to play the game because it's not really me, but it doesn't matter. One MUST play the game, even when the opponent claims her own brand of purported innocence.
We have all heard, and I learned in school, that ignorance of the law is no excuse. So, here, the rules are the same. Played or be played. It's disgusting, but one must embrace that disgust to arrive victorious.
I yearn for a simple set of truths but apparently, such tablets are not descending into my arms from the mount. Again, I regret it and loathe it on every level, but such is the game.
I will play it. I have played it with you. But not any more. Any hint, and I will use my excessive IQ to plan you into emotional oblivion.
That's life. ANd yes, it pisses me off, but you don't care. You have an agenda and you will follow it because you must, because you know nothing else.
I could tell you it's wrong, that you're wrong, but you're hard-wired to mistrust everyone, including yourself. I can't help you. Sorry.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The microcosm is more grim, depending on your flava. It might include chronic disease, doubt and that old standby, death. Money and the things it buys may be dwindling or absent, if you lost your job, your spouse or your reason. Hopefully, no matter how bad things get, you may be in denial.
It's a powerful protective feature. Deny that your body really isn't ready to run that marathon and you might make it to the finish line. Heck, you might even win. Of course, you might die on the last hill, too. You can't know anything but that you want to reach the goal and denial of possibilities and probabilities will help make that happen.
If you're a Mother, you are clearly posessed of this skill. Without it, you will go insane. So, your child or children will be healthy, grow up, learn and be successful in life and love, and all will be well with the world. The reality of untimely mortality, car crashes and myriad bad choices is not an option. You, as a mother, lack the sober objectivity needed to effectively build scenarios.
To be continued . . .