Sunday, July 27, 2008

Shop Till It's Cheap

I happen to like to shop and I consider myself extremely efficient, when not overtired, at grocery shopping. Not only that, but I can look at a shopping cart and estimate the value of the contents usually to within $5 if under $100 and usually within $10 if over $100. Please note that I refuse to use the overly-narrow local term "food shopping" as I feel that Windex and Charmin are not foods, yet, are purchased at the same time as actually edible products generally recognized as food items. When overtired, it can take me two hours to shop as every aisle becomes an hallucinogenic wonderland of myriad choices and possibilities.

In the 80's, when you were just a little girl or boy, assuming you hadn't chosen reassignment in the intervening period, though I'm not judging, just observing, unless you weren't born yet or unless you're my age or older, I saw a movie called Repo Man. Maybe you've seen it? There's a scene where the protagonist, played by a very boyish Emilio Estevez, is talking about his life at home and in the flashback that ensues, he's seen spooning something out of a generic brand can marked only as "FOOD." I keep looking for this product at WalMart, ShopRite and Pathmark, but they all claim not to stock it. Personally, I think the staff is sneaking cases of it out to their cars after end-of-shift.

Unlike most men, I love to shop - love it. I love to hunt for bargains, especially in fashion and especially at Marshalls'. I can smell a sale at a hundred paces, though I have, on occasion, spent too much on a shirt or pair of shoes and yet, been happy with the buy. I think it has something to do with my mixed parentage, my father being a High Holiday Jew of sorts and my mother, a closet Roman Catholic. On the other hand, with today's consumeristic strategies as comparison, they were fairly frugal. But, yes, I don't mind going from place to place to place to mall to outlet to find the best value - not always the cheapest item, what with vertical brands and all. I could be your personal shopping consultant for a moderate fee, if you like.