"Here's a fictional news story we'd all like to see:
"The top business story of the day is Citigroup's astounding comeback
from near-bankruptcy last year with single-share prices topping a record-
breaking $71.80 a share, even after the eightfold stock split in late
2009. Citigroup's Pandit said in an interview, "I had told Congress
that I 'got the new reality' and it's apparent that this clarity has
helped me guide the company to its current global finance dominance."
In fact, after Citigroup's surprise acquisition of the-then Bank of
America, now known as CitiAmerica, along with the Wells Fargo and JP
Morgan mergers, it was thought the bank was treading in dangerous
waters. Instead, through the revolutionary move to purchase China
early this year so that Citigroup could be its own country, Citigroup
has become widely respected as history's most stable banking firm and now,
country, ChinaGroup. "Needless to say," said Pandit, "our next move
will be total domination of all world markets and then, all I can say
is, we'll see. We're still interested in acquiring the Unified Korea and Japan,
of course. We don't expect much resistance as they will be
assimilated" Prices for the equity, stock symbol C, are up 26% in after-hours
and the subsequent post, likelier than not, in this forum:
"Hey - any of you guys think it's going to break $80 already? Geez."
That's all I got. Come see me if you're in the neighborhood. That is, if security lets you in.