Monday, October 29, 2007

Kill Me Now

The following was written at a time when I got sucked into my wife's utter insanity. As it turns out, she was lying then as she usually does. A lying liar telling lies. For sport. And because she's insane - please see the more recent entry on Paranoid Personality Disorder.

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Oh, God, it never ends. Make it stop. Please.

My wife is suing me for $15,000,000: one million bucks for each of the fifteen years she wasted with me. She did this not because she can win, but because it will stay my divorce proceedings and I will have to spend money I don't have defending the civil part. Clever and unethical, it will be dismissed, ultimately, but this tactic is worth ten grand to my attorney just to get to the point of asking the court for a dismissal.

The best I can do is counter-sue under her suit and get her to post an undertaking (a bond that's a percentage of the value of the potential award) for which she can borrow against the house, attach my future earnings, inheritance and royalties. The undertaking shows the court that the plaintiff is serious as real money, their money, is involved.

But, understand this: there is no justice in the justice system. It's all about reaching a compromise that the involved parties can feel they can live with. And anyone can sue anyone else over anything at any time. It's fun, even.

In the meantime, I must rush to file a divorce in order to avoid a stay of those proceedings pending a decision in the first case. I've offered mediation, counseling and anything else I could think of - nope: gotta f*ck me. Now, my kid can always say, "Why did you make mommie go away ? . . ." God seems to like crazy.

So, last week I was busy trying to cut ties with my friends and this week, that's assured and I didn't have to do anything about it. Why? Because all of those people will be subpoenaed to talk about how bad a person I am and even if they don't ultimately get called, they will be intimidated, cajoled and forced to consider counsel, at cost to them, naturally. Sorry, guys! Doesn't matter that it's not my fault - they're going to split. I know I would.

It never ends. All I want is the value I put into this house. That's it. On the rest, I have asserted consistently that I'm willing and ready and able to be more than fair. The response? Kaboom. Four days ago, I was really feeling ready to kill myself and now, I actually regret not doing it. This all means no money, no future, no retirement, all guaranteed. So, what's the point? Seems the monastery is no longer accepting applications . . .