Saturday, April 5, 2008

Win The Battle AND The War: Being A Bully

In case you don't know it, there are myriad ways to hassle and annoy a person you don't like and that you would not only prefer absent but would also like to hurt, just for an extra dose of pleasurable vengeance. More importantly, you can gain control and power over most people by learning to enhance your powers as a bully. You can inspire long-lasting fear and power over people's decisions even when you're not around!

First of all, you will need either to be predisposed to having a nasty-ass nature or you will have to learn, as your effectiveness as a bully/harassing agent will depend on how well you "become" the part. If you are a reasonable, conciliatory person, this may seem impossible to learn, but it is entirely do-able with some practice. If you have some sense of theatrics, you will need to reach down into your soul to wrench out and amplify the "worst" parts of you. And, you will have to be comfortable with lying, cheating, stealing and all manner of what some might consider juvenile and maybe even dangerous behaviour. You can turn this into an advantage simply by surprising your intended target with this new-found behaviour.

Try to think back to your days in the schoolyard. Do you remember how the Bully dominated your mates? He (or she) didn't have to even be around for there to be some level of fear and control. It's amazing, if you think about it. The secret is that the bully only has control over those who freely give it. Now, we won't go into the deep psychology of why this is so, or the questions of morality, but I will point out that it's pointless to be a bully to those who will not be bullied. So, as a vindictive bully, you will have to be able to identify those who can be controlled. Control will give you carte blanche in applying your schemes with great power.

The bully must not care about whether his target is exploitable and must certainly not ever show any doubt or weakness. The important factor is the appearance of strength. This way, even the most stalwart may be cowed into submission. Submission is a key word, as the bully operates as the "alpha" in any group.

Given this slight understanding, it's clear that you will need the following skills:
  • Inner anger
  • Sociopathic tendencies
  • Willingness to inflict emotional or other harm
  • Lack of empathy or sympathy for your chosen target, or victim

Once you have gotten in touch with your "dark side," you can begin testing out your new powers. I suggest you start with people who you don't even know, but be careful until you understand whether you're choosing the right victims. After all, you, as an adult, are operating in the real world in which there are other bullies, more experienced than you, and there can be real consequences, unlike detention. Perhaps it's a check-out person at a big super-market you don't often frequent, perhaps it's the wishy-washy clerk at the laundromat.

Here are some types you should not choose:
  • Government personnel: they can bully you back by wasting your valuable time or denying you what you want of, in the case of police, arrest you.
  • Foreigners: they probably won't understand what you're saying or worse, they have lived their non-gas-pumping lives in some foreign place where the payback for bullying is a rocket attack.
  • Non-select people: in your social realm, it's important to be able to have a base of support so that when the cries go up that you're bad, bad, those in your support circle, whom you have treated way beyond well, will shrug and simply do nothing, as the complainer must be wrong or lying and therefore, will enable your continued abuse and attacks upon your target. Don't bully everyone, even if you can, in other words.

Here are some good choices:
  • A husband or wife: there is in-built trust and emotional ties that will give you a terrific amount of leverage. A boyfriend or girlfriend is an excellent choice, too, but keep in mind that there are no legal ties which limits the intensity of your attacks
  • A child under the age of consent: again, there are ties that bind, such as love, and they will do what you want them to.
  • Someone who owes you something, especially money that they can't readily pay back
  • Disposable friends: in fact, you should think of all but a few friends as disposable as this will help your demeanor tremendously. Don't forget that you control the weak, so you can get back these friends with your charm anytime you like, even if years have gone by.

Once you have chosen your target and have gotten to know at least a little about them, especially their weakness or foibles, make sure that a) they are weak, b) they are ready to be controlled, perhaps by good nature or a "follower" personality and c) they are isolated. The last element is very important for maximum psychological effect. You must be rested and ready at all times to deliver tweak, tap and punch, figuratively speaking. You must never let up. Attacks can be direct or indirect. This is not to say that you will go all out, all at once. You must reel the victim in. Be nice, then, wham! Back off. This will have the victim wondering whether they had actually done something wrong. Try to get an admission of their failure and then, strike again. Attack the failure and feign insult, threaten withdrawal, cry, if you can and when you feel they are almost at the point of reacting, back off. Continue this pattern over the course of, say, a day, then make friends again and leave them be for a week, but not too long as the emotional memory will start to fade. Remember that your victim will help you destroy themselves!

After the right amount of time has passed, start again. You always must be looking for reasons to start another attack but you don't have to act at the time the reason occurs. Save it for the right moment and then, feigning weakness, draw out your victim by feigning complaint, pick on any element of their response (it doesn't matter what) and fire away. Repeat the technique as in the last paragraph. Don't go too far! If they leave, you have lost the round. Yes, they'll be back, but when they see that you don't actually care, the emotional and psychological ties you are depending on to deliver maximum effect will be weakened, making more work for you! Keep them in your control, even if you have to cry, threaten creating a loss to the victim of something you know is important to them, even if you don't actually have the power to make it happen. And, above all, sustain your unreasonableness and continue to deliver the lie that you've been wronged. This is very important: never release the tension or create doubt that you in fact may be wrong. You can know it, but don't show it!

Be sure that your victim can see how you're nice to other people, those people in your circle you will preserve to help destroy your victim. This reinforces how "bad" your victim is, not only to your victim, but to your circle, who will shower you with sympathy and help isolate your target. In other words, you have created a team of "passive bullies" to back you up at all times.

Also, you will have to exercise daily. No, I don't mean the Stairclimber! You must remind yourself of your position in your "role" and reinforce to yourself how you've been wronged by your victim. Now, you don't actually have to be hurt by your target, no, of course not, but it will help you "get into character" for your next series of attacks.

You will have succeeded as a bully if:
  • you force your target to do something that they might not otherwise do
  • you receive large amounts of money from your victim
  • your victim runs away in abject defeat
  • your victim - and here's the beauty part, the definition of an Ultimate Master Bully - comes back, again and again for more
  • your target commits suicide, leaving a note explaining how it's all their fault, etc.

You will have failed as a bully if:
  • you are arrested or get involved with the system in any way due to your activities. This is recoverable, but usually is the beginning of turning your bullying back onto yourself, which is not the plan
  • your victim simply leaves at the outset of your "unacceptable behaviour" and does not return. Some actualized people can't be bullied, so, they suck and you can try to bully them on that level but it may be a waste of time.
  • your circle of support sides with your target. In this case, get therapy (or rehab or some other kind of "public" contrition) and then choose a new victim. This may necessitate changes in lifestyle and moving to a new town.
  • your target is more of a sociopath than you, you have underestimated and the target maims or kills you. This is definitely game over at that point.
The most rewarding element of bullydom is that you, as the bully, do not have to give a rat's ass about anything at all. You can operate as a freewheel, riding roughshod over anything and anyone in your path that doesn't meet with your standards or that annoys you in any way. In other words, you are truly free.

Next time, I'll discuss particular techniques to carry out a major, sustained campaign that will not only hurt your victim emotionally and psychologically, but can actually gain you big profits and big-time vengeance!