You think your life is tough? Imagine you are a pig, ripe for the slaughter. Your ancestors, cousins, sisters and brothers have already met their fate and are serving man in the form of a component of an Egg McMuffin with Sausage. Some guy says to himself, "Y'know, getting the assholes outta these critters sure is a pain in the rectum. Oh, I know, let me invent an asshole removal device." He sets pen to paper and lo and behold, comes up with just the thing. The United States Patent Office agrees that it is in fact wondrous and unique and grants him this here patent:
So, the next time you think you're having a bad day, just imagine that someone, somewhere is cooking up a better way to make you anus-less. Harumph, Jenkins, looks like we have 'em at both ends.
Since we're doing some technical reading, let's check this out:
This describes the case and resulting surgery to remove a rather large vibrator from the rectum of a 29 year-old female who was using it for "anal eroticism" God, I love doctors and their accepting ways. I also found the X-Rays rather stimulating - enjoy!