There really is no point in trying to continue. I try so hard, but I know now I will never "fit in." I can only pretend, play the role and mostly be a distant participant. This is the die that's been cast.
Warning To Self: The next time you think it's even-ing out, forget it. It's a fluke or you're deluding yourself. Don't involve yourself with others unless you can manage to admit to yourself, once and for all, that you will hurt them and that it's okay. You don't deserve love as you will only destroy it. You only deserve a cold emptiness, a void and you must be true to the emotional cipher you are. Anything else is a lie.
Print that out and wear it on your forehead, like Cain, as a warning to others.
You are the Scorpion, hence it only makes sense that you can stab yourself in the back. Tell the others and make them run.
So, you're a reader or, more alarmingly, someone who knows me. Well, now you know more- govern yourself accordingly. I'm going to go watch the Weather Channel and fall asleep in my clothes. Maybe tomorrow, well, maybe tomorrow will never come.