Friday, January 25, 2008

E Is For Empty

I don't know anymore. I just don't know.

Just when I think I'm picking myself up off the floor, some other stupid sh*t comes around and cums in my face. Now, so people like that sort of thing, but I don't. Yuck. And I really don't like to swallow . . .

It's a metaphor, you dolt.

In short, here's what happened: got all in line with lawyer to dirch the old lady, papers ready, tried to negotiate one last time as dropping the hammer will instantly cost me $2500 that I don't have and it's a waste, opened up a line of comms, no real response, I sensed the usual game, she's being TFN (too f-ing nice), earlier in the month, I discovered no bills paid since October and they were all late then, in the interim, I dished out $8200 to her to pay those bills and the mortgage, though I was unemployed for part of that time and I still don't know if the mort is paid though I did bring the other bills up to date, including my debt which arose out of me "holding on" and not paying things because we were short and the other bills were high . . . lies, all . . . and I buy the food, pay for my fuel, etc., beginning of the month, she said she was going to put in her resignation by the 31st, and now, lo and behold, she gets fired and I am reminded of all the times that she has threatened me this way, "I don't care if you have to work three jobs, you will pay me, take care of your child and pay the bills here or you will wind up in jail."

Now, this is not Central America and that's not the way things work here. But, as this is Amerika, anyone can sue anybody for anything at any time. What's worse, a woman can sue her man for the legal fees if she's suing because he is making her destitute and she will be automatically awarded those fees even if the payment of same impedes the defense by the Defendant, eg, me, since how many lawyers can one pay at a time and actually feed the household.

It's not reasonable - she wouldn't do that. That's the whole point, egghead - she is insane and she will do anything to express her rage and paranoia. Yay. What fun.

So, now she's out of work. In her head, she thinks I'm obligated to pay her money so that she can support herself. She believes that she is entitled to my paycheck, free and clear - she has said so. She is, let me repeat myself, insane. And the insanity is spreading.

She actually told me I had to give her $80 today because she owes the Taxi Driver (Travis, where are you when we need you?) and he can get nasty since he knows where she lives, which implies that I will have to deal with yet another mess she has made. Um, excuse, why would I want to do that? I know her. She's already promised it to him and if she had access to my bank account (she already calls and gets balance info but she doesn't has any other kind of access and if she can figure out the PIN, she deserves the money) she would have paid the guy and bounce my car insurance check. She is without regard - one, continuous alcoholic rage, destroying everything in her path and then, conveniently, blaming it on me. That's what drunks do.

Now I need to get out from under, the faster, the better.

Just this moment, I get a threatening call from her, "Either you loan me the money or I'll have to do something unpleasant." Click. Psycho f*ck. So, she's bombed again and violent and if I go home, it's call the police time and then we both go to jail because that's the way it works . . .

Oh, well. Guess I better go home and get it over with.

No, no, wait a minute. Isn't that buying into her craziness? Yes, it is, so I can't do that.

Release the hounds.