Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Zyzzyx Is Right!

RE: Change of Position

Dear Colleagues;

Our Illustrious Leader, Zyzzyx, has been roundly criticized for his management style and especially for his opinion of the "Earthlings" (please don't snicker) and how and even whether they should be dealt with. Though his concept of mass mind-freeze or extermination seems extreme, I'm beginning to see his point.

In intelligence-gathering efforts amongst the talking mammals of Target Gamma-4-a-Minor, what they call "Earth", and as we've all come to adopt this humorous moniker, I have, as is shown in my reports, found that they are almost universally confusing and confused. It's clear that malice is sometimes meant, but the inability to maintain a single, stable socio-face makes for a very rocky ride, so to speak.

They are, as a whole, inventive. This leads to an excellent set of survival skills as they are tenacious but when that inventiveness creeps into their very limited intellectual and emotional landscape, they are totally without reason. What may seem straightforward to you or I is the subject of much rumination, consideration and general blah-blah-blah, to use a colloquial term. This means that getting to the point is arduous at best and, at worst, a great consumptor of time.

Previously, I have said that it would be possible to integrate the humans into our plans for the reorganization of this world. Now, I must do an about-face (a military colloquialism meaning ordered retreat and offence in the reverse direction.) Despite their laws, teachings and Dr. Phil, humans seem to be hopelessly mired in the "experience" of existence, rather than getting to The Goal. I will grant that they are of limited understanding, but still . . . Even in my use of grammatik as shown in the last sentence, one can clearly see equivocation here even in the most stalwart.

An excellent example is the popular historical case of the soccer team stranded on an Andean mountainside with half of their number dead. It took near starvation and desperation for the survivors to decide that it would be acceptable to eat the meat of their "brothers." This kind of confused thinking leads many of their kind to disrupt the flow of progress. "I'll think about it," is a phrase endemic to daily life here and indicates that ugly cycle of pondering.

For our mission, it is clear that we are not meeting our short-term goals. He have been mired in an attempt to "understand" what probably cannot be adequately understood, as so much is hidden in what is unsaid, unseen and unheard. It has become inefficient to analyse and re-figure the Human Profile as the information gathered in the field is constantly changing.

I must now come out in support of Zyzzyx's position, though I would suggest a modification. Instead of wholesale extermination, though satisfying it would be, I must say, I think instead we should not disturb the nature of the food chain and the ecosystem here and simply proceed with DNA modification Plan 12.92.090 of last Ord Moon. All on the committee are in receipt of this memo - if not, I can re-transmit. In sum, the Plan calls for modifying the DNA of the humans so that they will function at not more that the level of their simian cousins. The current population will die off in about a hundred solar transits, or 56 Filps, and the reduced-lifespan, human-simians will self-regulate their population through SOTF results.

This scheme is not only "humane" but will also require the least resources on our part in terms of extermination (which would be environmentally messy), clean-up, food-chain and eco- restructuring and so forth. We can continue to build our infrastructure here in the meantime, in the interest of achieving The Goal. In the end, this will be a more efficient way of solving the Human Problem.

I ask that the committee consider my revised position and that we vote on going forward at our next Ord Moon meeting in 14 solar days. I want to apologise in advance to all for being so contrary but it is clear as is The Word, "Let your Loss be your Lesson."

I look forward to seeing you all. I will bring "doughnuts" for us to enjoy!

Sincerest regards,

Phllps Orgnamsi
Unit 1 Intelligence
Social Order Division
Terran Station Target Gamma-4-a-Minor